Single

At all times of the day I have a baby on my hip - truly, literally. Margot, my almost one and a half year old, has become extremely attached to me - a phase my first daughter didn’t really go through. When my ex and I started our family we both decided that I would stay home with the kids until they began preschool at two and a half. This was all I had ever been sure of my whole life, I think all I ever truly knew about myself. I’ve never been able to figure out a stable career path - and always thought there was something wrong with me because of that. But I absolutely was certain I wanted to be a mom, I wanted to have babies, I wanted to take care of them as much as I could.

So since my husband left our marriage, left our home, and eventually moved to a new state -  Margot is always with me. My three year old, Vivi, goes to preschool full time and gets to interact with other tiny kids, and sweet and adoring Montessori teachers. She also had both of her parents home with her until she turned three. Her dad did her bedtime almost every night after her little sister was born - they had a warm and sweet routine of reading Curious George books and listening to Harry Belafonte. But Margot doesn’t know this routine. Her dad moved out when she was ten months old. She knows our female-loaded chaotic evenings, of total toddler and mom breakdowns at about 6:30pm. She knows of our new routine where after our end of the day meltdowns I cave and let everyone watch Sleeping Beauty in my bed instead of adhering to our usual set bedtimes. And she knows she wants Mommy to hold her - always, all the time, please don’t put her down, ever.